Bramble and canes

My obsession with drugs is pretty much over. It really is time to figure out what I'm going to do with my life; what I should dedicate myself to.

I'd really like to live in the mountains, or the country. Growing my own pot, fruit, herbs, vegetables and flowers. Maintaining an heirloom orchard. Being semi-self sufficient. The less I have to rely on other people, the better. Of course, I'd also need a source of income. I'm thinking of learning all I can about Renewable Energy and applying it to people's homes.

Solar panels for electricity, back-up Diesel (or ethanol) generators, building attached Greenhouses, etc. It's big business right now, and I really think I have the brain, experience and chutzpah to do this.

Designing "Green" homes, or retro-fitting existing residences. It's the future.. with the economy, gasoline and oil shortages and escalating food prices, I don't see how it wouldn't be profitable on some level.

As the economy and situation in the United States, and the world in general, becomes worse and worse, "off-grid" living will become more and more popular.

Right now? I'm in limbo. I feel defeated, and worthless. I need to get out of this slump, get some energy and inspiration in my life. It just seems like everything is up in the air until my Pre-trial in September. It's hard to find a job and work when I'm not even sure I'll be a free man come Sept.21, you know?

I really do want to get a job, though, mostly to get out of the house and out of my head, and also so I can take a class or two. Horticulture, business or mathematics courses.

My dream right now is to become a business man and a semi-self sufficient farmer. Ideally, I would live on my own land, have a small orchard, a large vegetable herb and flower garden, and of course a field of pot. I want to make my own wine and cider, create my own preserves and pickled vegetables, trade clones and seeds with like-minded people. My time would be split between working my land, and designing and implementing Green homes. Happiness would follow, for sure.

This hippie has never felt comfortable in the suburbs, nor the city. It's time to go and live my life as best I can. The great thing about this day and age is that living out in the sticks does not necessarily mean being cut off from the rest of the world. Cellular phones, satellite internet.. it really wouldn't be a lonely existence. Plus, I could also drive to the nearest city or town once every few weeks, to socialize and pick up supplies and equipment that I can't come by myself.

So this is my new dream. I hope that one time I can achieve it.