So after many months and one failed attempt resulting in being robbed at knife-point, I am pretty sure that tomorrow I will be taking the subway into the city to grab some dope and powder. 1 and 1 = 3.
It's actually more for wanting that Taste of coke than wanting to get high. Though there is that, too. There are a few things I'm doing differently this time than my many previous times copping in Kensington:
I absolutely won't be doing any until I get back. I'm not talking to anyone except the 2 or 3 words I need to say to the dealer to buy the shit. I'm getting 2 needles, just in case, and I'm turning right around after copping to get back on the El.
I don't need to be there any longer than I need to. Not with my legal situation, nor with the heat, or the risk of being robbed (again).
After dosing tomorrow, I'll probably post again and write more for the fuck of it. This is an outlet, not a show. Doesn't matter the content, there's no audience save myself.
For safety reasons I should start off slow. 1 bag of heroin won't kill a person, but a surprisingly strong 10 of C might. Too much powder is not a pleasant feeling. Doing half of the powder, and then a solid speedball after that sounds good. If the dope was super strong I would just break it into two smaller speedballs but at similar IV doses, purity of street cocaine >> purity of street heroin. Much greater; plus cocaine is much easier to overdose on.
Godspeed
Tangerine Haze
Great with morning coffee on the Deck
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
BLTC
I don't think I would sleep if I had a supply of trusty stimulants on hand. Sleep is really quite a waste of time - 8 hours doing nothing, minimal brain activity with a paralyzed, slightly twitchy body? No thanks.
Caffeine is a shitty drug. Modafinil is ok as a "wakefulness promoter" but it still lacks the actual stimulation, energy and endurance that proper dextro-amphetamine gives a person.
I love drugs, but not psychedelics, or amphetamines. But to be able to take something once every often, to fight off sleep for days at a time? I'd do it until the sleep deprivation and amphetamine-psychosis got to me. Until then, I sleep when I need to, I guess.
A relative might be able to get me work at a nearby Steel Factory or a Foundry or some such. I need the money. I need weed, and drugs.
My ideal, primo stash, since I'm fantasizing: jars of different strains of perfectly grown and cured buds. Dextro-amphetamine. Ritalin. Klonopin. Midazolam 5mg/5mL vial for injection. Morphine Sulfate injectable tablets. Some quality Heroin, and of course good Coke. Don't forget the hashish brownies or fudge, my own private recipes too.
I definitely need to put in an order to my connection in the South - I can get the M.S., Ritalin, Klonopin and Midazolam inj off them. They stock plenty of other stuff, even Fentanyl vials and vials of Anabolic Steroids.. but those are the only 4 medicines i'm interested in.
Definitely need some heavy-weight downers. I ate 3x1mg Xanax earlier to help me sleep. Ni de hablar! Strong and short acting my ass. Xanax ain't shit.
Alprazolam is weak; if I had some Midazolam inj. around I'd be out like a light. 1-2mL in the arm and I'd be sound asleep for hourZzzz. If only.
And yes, the air outside does still feel just a little Fake. Like Sim City or the Matrix fake. And hot.
Caffeine is a shitty drug. Modafinil is ok as a "wakefulness promoter" but it still lacks the actual stimulation, energy and endurance that proper dextro-amphetamine gives a person.
I love drugs, but not psychedelics, or amphetamines. But to be able to take something once every often, to fight off sleep for days at a time? I'd do it until the sleep deprivation and amphetamine-psychosis got to me. Until then, I sleep when I need to, I guess.
A relative might be able to get me work at a nearby Steel Factory or a Foundry or some such. I need the money. I need weed, and drugs.
My ideal, primo stash, since I'm fantasizing: jars of different strains of perfectly grown and cured buds. Dextro-amphetamine. Ritalin. Klonopin. Midazolam 5mg/5mL vial for injection. Morphine Sulfate injectable tablets. Some quality Heroin, and of course good Coke. Don't forget the hashish brownies or fudge, my own private recipes too.
I definitely need to put in an order to my connection in the South - I can get the M.S., Ritalin, Klonopin and Midazolam inj off them. They stock plenty of other stuff, even Fentanyl vials and vials of Anabolic Steroids.. but those are the only 4 medicines i'm interested in.
Definitely need some heavy-weight downers. I ate 3x1mg Xanax earlier to help me sleep. Ni de hablar! Strong and short acting my ass. Xanax ain't shit.
Alprazolam is weak; if I had some Midazolam inj. around I'd be out like a light. 1-2mL in the arm and I'd be sound asleep for hourZzzz. If only.
And yes, the air outside does still feel just a little Fake. Like Sim City or the Matrix fake. And hot.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Vraiment
Vraiment is French/Francais for "truthfully" or "verily." "De veras" would be a Spanish equivalent.
Truly, sometimes I feel like the air outside is Fake. Or somehow.. generated.
I was outside just now walking my garden; my 14 foot tall Sunflowers silhouetted both by moon-light and the Sodium-arc Street Lamps. The warm, very warm air sprung up and blew past me a little before I walked back inside - stopping briefly to water my ever thirsty Pear Tree.
My garden is great. I'm trapped by suburbia and circumstance. The backyard is as landscaped as I can make it, limited by my abilities, scope and finances.
That being so, I maintain quite a diverse garden. In no particular order, I'm currently growing:
Wild Strawberry, Mammoth Sunflowers, Peas (finished), Marigold, Green Bell Pepper, Jalapenyo Pepper, Echinacea, 2 types of cucumber, Mini Pumpkin, Portulaca, Nasturtium, Eggplant/Aubergine. Various Spider Plants, a Blackberry, an un-named red Ivy, some sort of cactus, and 6 types of Tomato - my favorite is the Orange Grape, tastes like a berry..
I was, until very recently, also growing medicinal Cannabis both indoors and out. That is no longer a reality, as much as I desire it to be so. I do miss growing it; and I Have, in fact, decided to pursue Gardening as a career.
Through being a Contractor or Consultant; supplying patients with the manpower, the experience, the skills, to build, maintain and yield from their own medicine gardens. Outside or in. All "Green" techniques, all Organic nutrients - including Eco-friendly fungus/insecti-cides.
It could be lucrative, and it's what I like to do.
If it was worth all this (legal) trouble to begin growing it in the first place, and having continued to do so, then it stands to reason that it can be worth a lot more to me as a means of self-employ. Not to grow and sell it; any person with a green thumb can do that. I'm more interested in Grow Room Design & Set-up, Maintenance, and all-organic Pest Control / Cleaning, &c, &c.
Vraiment est-ce que c'est je voudrais cultiver !
Truly, sometimes I feel like the air outside is Fake. Or somehow.. generated.
I was outside just now walking my garden; my 14 foot tall Sunflowers silhouetted both by moon-light and the Sodium-arc Street Lamps. The warm, very warm air sprung up and blew past me a little before I walked back inside - stopping briefly to water my ever thirsty Pear Tree.
My garden is great. I'm trapped by suburbia and circumstance. The backyard is as landscaped as I can make it, limited by my abilities, scope and finances.
That being so, I maintain quite a diverse garden. In no particular order, I'm currently growing:
Wild Strawberry, Mammoth Sunflowers, Peas (finished), Marigold, Green Bell Pepper, Jalapenyo Pepper, Echinacea, 2 types of cucumber, Mini Pumpkin, Portulaca, Nasturtium, Eggplant/Aubergine. Various Spider Plants, a Blackberry, an un-named red Ivy, some sort of cactus, and 6 types of Tomato - my favorite is the Orange Grape, tastes like a berry..
I was, until very recently, also growing medicinal Cannabis both indoors and out. That is no longer a reality, as much as I desire it to be so. I do miss growing it; and I Have, in fact, decided to pursue Gardening as a career.
Through being a Contractor or Consultant; supplying patients with the manpower, the experience, the skills, to build, maintain and yield from their own medicine gardens. Outside or in. All "Green" techniques, all Organic nutrients - including Eco-friendly fungus/insecti-cides.
It could be lucrative, and it's what I like to do.
If it was worth all this (legal) trouble to begin growing it in the first place, and having continued to do so, then it stands to reason that it can be worth a lot more to me as a means of self-employ. Not to grow and sell it; any person with a green thumb can do that. I'm more interested in Grow Room Design & Set-up, Maintenance, and all-organic Pest Control / Cleaning, &c, &c.
Vraiment est-ce que c'est je voudrais cultiver !
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Futues tu ipsum
Today was a waste. Literally.
Nikki's unemployment didn't go through, so no chemical fun for me today. I slept in, and was in a very depressed mood all day really.
I didn't feel right, or happy, until by chance my "friend" called me and set me up with some medicine; i'll be paying him Friday. It's nice to find that there do exist decent souls not only in the world, but in the criminal/counter-culture underworld.
The smoke was good. Still nothing like I grow, of course. But not much is. I sorely miss growing it. I'm thinking more and more that, It's what I like to do. It can be lucrative. And I'm probably going to jail for it. I might as well make a living doing it, ne?
I can grow stuff that is true "one-hit shit." And I mean, to serious tokers/patients with serious tolerances. My father and I would smoke 3 bowls, between us, of our Cheese or Blueberry buds (strains we have). Conversely, we would smoke 1/2 ! a bowl between us, of a strain called Bubble Gum X Haze. I got the original seeds from a guy from DUESSELDORF, GERMANY. And god-damn do they know their pot, in Dusseldorf, Germany!
Of the 7 females we grew out, 2 were very special. The Keeper, BG.Haze#1 bloomed for 93 days (under 12 hours on/ 12 hours off schedule) and the buds were very dense, very fragrant and dark black. The bud leaf was the color of de-oxygenated blood; these were some seriously dark flowers. Reeked of muddy strawberries and incense with a bit of pine. 1 average sized joint will probably get 8 people high. Very high.
But what do I do for work for now? I won't be able to grow again for a while, in all likelihood. I need money so I can get high and party it up before having to go to jail. Plus to keep myself busy, and also maybe look better in front of the judge, going in front of the Naze-fuck with a job. Who the fuck knows.
I really want some fucking drugs. A speedball, or shot of straight C, to start with. I also have a mail order connection for seriously cheap drugs, mostly prescription type pills.
Ritalin10mg and Klonopin2mgs for 10$/30#bottle; 500mgKetamine/10mL vial for 10$,injectable morphine 30mg tabs 3$ a piece. They stock plenty of other benzos, fentanyl, loads of steroids.
But I'm really only interested in the M, the Ritalin and the K-pins. The Ketamine vial of 50mg/mL solution is just for experimentation; I've never tried it.
I'm calling Chik-Fil-A and a nearby Ice Factory tomorrow to see if they're hiring.
Are we having fun yet?
Nikki's unemployment didn't go through, so no chemical fun for me today. I slept in, and was in a very depressed mood all day really.
I didn't feel right, or happy, until by chance my "friend" called me and set me up with some medicine; i'll be paying him Friday. It's nice to find that there do exist decent souls not only in the world, but in the criminal/counter-culture underworld.
The smoke was good. Still nothing like I grow, of course. But not much is. I sorely miss growing it. I'm thinking more and more that, It's what I like to do. It can be lucrative. And I'm probably going to jail for it. I might as well make a living doing it, ne?
I can grow stuff that is true "one-hit shit." And I mean, to serious tokers/patients with serious tolerances. My father and I would smoke 3 bowls, between us, of our Cheese or Blueberry buds (strains we have). Conversely, we would smoke 1/2 ! a bowl between us, of a strain called Bubble Gum X Haze. I got the original seeds from a guy from DUESSELDORF, GERMANY. And god-damn do they know their pot, in Dusseldorf, Germany!
Of the 7 females we grew out, 2 were very special. The Keeper, BG.Haze#1 bloomed for 93 days (under 12 hours on/ 12 hours off schedule) and the buds were very dense, very fragrant and dark black. The bud leaf was the color of de-oxygenated blood; these were some seriously dark flowers. Reeked of muddy strawberries and incense with a bit of pine. 1 average sized joint will probably get 8 people high. Very high.
But what do I do for work for now? I won't be able to grow again for a while, in all likelihood. I need money so I can get high and party it up before having to go to jail. Plus to keep myself busy, and also maybe look better in front of the judge, going in front of the Naze-fuck with a job. Who the fuck knows.
I really want some fucking drugs. A speedball, or shot of straight C, to start with. I also have a mail order connection for seriously cheap drugs, mostly prescription type pills.
Ritalin10mg and Klonopin2mgs for 10$/30#bottle; 500mgKetamine/10mL vial for 10$,injectable morphine 30mg tabs 3$ a piece. They stock plenty of other benzos, fentanyl, loads of steroids.
But I'm really only interested in the M, the Ritalin and the K-pins. The Ketamine vial of 50mg/mL solution is just for experimentation; I've never tried it.
I'm calling Chik-Fil-A and a nearby Ice Factory tomorrow to see if they're hiring.
Are we having fun yet?
Monday, July 18, 2011
Monday, fun day
At my church yesterday, our Pastor started us on a new series called:
"Frequently Asked Questions: You Asked For It!"
Now, Pastor Eric usually Teaches a series on a different topic, for 3 weeks in a row. This current series's topic is a bit different... the last 3 weeks of service, along with our "Collection Cards" we were given "F.A.Q." cards. It's these questions that yesterday's service, and the next two weeks, will be based on. Pretty innovative, huh? I thought it was cool.
The questions we covered yesterday included "What does G-d look like?", "How are children who die, or mentally challenged/disabled people Saved? What is their purpose?" and "Tattoos; good or bad? What does the Bible say?"
Good stuff. I just took some Xanax, lately it's everyday that I need SOMETHING just to get through my life. If I had money I'd be using the good stuff. As it is, lately I've been smoking ditch-weed, eating Soma/Carisoprodol, and Xanax. I have a ridiculously high tolerance to chemicals similar to these... 2 or 3 Soma would leave the average sized man comatose - or at least stumbling and slurring. I take 10 to feel that way. 1 or 2mg of Xanax has the average person asleep, or very sedate. Me? I take 3 or 4mg and get a little foggy, slightly forgetful, and that's about it.
I do have some sensitivities though. I'm very sensitive to amphetamines (gross), and also cocaine. YUM. In fact, I'm hanging out with a girl Wednesday. She's making a run up to the city to grab some dope for herself, a 10$ piece of C for me, and of course the necessary syringes to get off RIGHT. I used to be a huge doper.. I try to avoid it now, but I still love C every once in a while. I never liked the shit snorted, not even smoked (crack) - IV is the way it was meant to be used.
IV is how Sigmund Freud first experimented with it - he wrote a book about it and its medicinal effects, "Uber Cocaine." Before the increase in potency of imported cocaine into the U.S. in the 1970-80s, the most commonly used method of taking coke was by needle. The Beatles mention it in a song "..he shoots Coke-a-Cola, he says 1 and 1 and 1 make 3" or some such nonsense. Anyway, I'll never sniff the shit again. It's a waste. Only 30% is absorbed, and it truly feels like a different, better, non-stimulant drug when taken in the vein.
When you push the plunger, your heart skips a beat. You cough, and immediately realize your entire mind body and soul tastes like cocaine, and feels "chilly" or refreshed.. but in a good sense. It's like coca-cola for the neurons, the nerves, everything. It makes you feel like Superman, it creates vibrations in the soul, it's incredible.
Another special effect of cocaine mainlined is that it produces auditory hallucinations akin to a deafening roar of a train going from one ear to the other. That's almost at the limit of toxicity though.
In the words of William Burroughs "the difference between a good dose of C and a toxic overdose of C is very marginal indeed."
Needless to say, as drug-free as I've been, and as stressed, I can really, REALLY go for a nice shot or two of powder. I can't wait for Wednesday morning; it should be tight. If it's a good bag off the Puerto Ricans, it should hold two fat doses for me. I'm probably going to shoot it all at once though.. a dime won't kill you. A 15 or 20 piece of the same quality might, though.
I need to find a job, and/or get some money together. I keep saying, and I do try.. but it's just hard. Nobody's hiring. Nobody wants to hire a former junkie and an accused "marijuana" grower. Truly I need to move.. I live in a very non-Boheme, homo-phobic, impoverished, Conservative, backwards area. Never have I felt at ease here. Not the way I felt in Toronto - I felt at home there, and really wish I could live and work there some day.
25 isn't that old. And life is really long. You never know where you'll find yourself.
On a humorous ending note, this is the voice mail message I left to the leader of the Court-mandated Group IOP (Intensive Out-Patient) I was made to attend.
"Hello Debra, this is A. I was in your IOP group, but my insurance has stopped paying for it and as such I won't be going back to group, nor to our individual therapy sessions. Between you and I, I felt the whole program was bullshit, and that the 12-Steps are for individuals without the mental capacity to simply man up, have some self-control and quit their addictions to PCP, crack or alcohol. I feel as if the IOP group meetings, and the NA/AA meetings these people attend with religious fervor are nothing more than a substitution addiction for people too weak to quit drugs on their own. You can recommend me to Rehab for "marijuana dependency", whatever the hell that is. I've been to the Mental Hospital. It's nice. Nothing you or anyone can say or do, not sending me to In-Patient Rehab, nor Jail, will change how I feel regarding the medicinal use of marijuana or the responsible use of recreational drugs. Thanks and have a nice life."
"Frequently Asked Questions: You Asked For It!"
Now, Pastor Eric usually Teaches a series on a different topic, for 3 weeks in a row. This current series's topic is a bit different... the last 3 weeks of service, along with our "Collection Cards" we were given "F.A.Q." cards. It's these questions that yesterday's service, and the next two weeks, will be based on. Pretty innovative, huh? I thought it was cool.
The questions we covered yesterday included "What does G-d look like?", "How are children who die, or mentally challenged/disabled people Saved? What is their purpose?" and "Tattoos; good or bad? What does the Bible say?"
Good stuff. I just took some Xanax, lately it's everyday that I need SOMETHING just to get through my life. If I had money I'd be using the good stuff. As it is, lately I've been smoking ditch-weed, eating Soma/Carisoprodol, and Xanax. I have a ridiculously high tolerance to chemicals similar to these... 2 or 3 Soma would leave the average sized man comatose - or at least stumbling and slurring. I take 10 to feel that way. 1 or 2mg of Xanax has the average person asleep, or very sedate. Me? I take 3 or 4mg and get a little foggy, slightly forgetful, and that's about it.
I do have some sensitivities though. I'm very sensitive to amphetamines (gross), and also cocaine. YUM. In fact, I'm hanging out with a girl Wednesday. She's making a run up to the city to grab some dope for herself, a 10$ piece of C for me, and of course the necessary syringes to get off RIGHT. I used to be a huge doper.. I try to avoid it now, but I still love C every once in a while. I never liked the shit snorted, not even smoked (crack) - IV is the way it was meant to be used.
IV is how Sigmund Freud first experimented with it - he wrote a book about it and its medicinal effects, "Uber Cocaine." Before the increase in potency of imported cocaine into the U.S. in the 1970-80s, the most commonly used method of taking coke was by needle. The Beatles mention it in a song "..he shoots Coke-a-Cola, he says 1 and 1 and 1 make 3" or some such nonsense. Anyway, I'll never sniff the shit again. It's a waste. Only 30% is absorbed, and it truly feels like a different, better, non-stimulant drug when taken in the vein.
When you push the plunger, your heart skips a beat. You cough, and immediately realize your entire mind body and soul tastes like cocaine, and feels "chilly" or refreshed.. but in a good sense. It's like coca-cola for the neurons, the nerves, everything. It makes you feel like Superman, it creates vibrations in the soul, it's incredible.
Another special effect of cocaine mainlined is that it produces auditory hallucinations akin to a deafening roar of a train going from one ear to the other. That's almost at the limit of toxicity though.
In the words of William Burroughs "the difference between a good dose of C and a toxic overdose of C is very marginal indeed."
Needless to say, as drug-free as I've been, and as stressed, I can really, REALLY go for a nice shot or two of powder. I can't wait for Wednesday morning; it should be tight. If it's a good bag off the Puerto Ricans, it should hold two fat doses for me. I'm probably going to shoot it all at once though.. a dime won't kill you. A 15 or 20 piece of the same quality might, though.
I need to find a job, and/or get some money together. I keep saying, and I do try.. but it's just hard. Nobody's hiring. Nobody wants to hire a former junkie and an accused "marijuana" grower. Truly I need to move.. I live in a very non-Boheme, homo-phobic, impoverished, Conservative, backwards area. Never have I felt at ease here. Not the way I felt in Toronto - I felt at home there, and really wish I could live and work there some day.
25 isn't that old. And life is really long. You never know where you'll find yourself.
On a humorous ending note, this is the voice mail message I left to the leader of the Court-mandated Group IOP (Intensive Out-Patient) I was made to attend.
"Hello Debra, this is A. I was in your IOP group, but my insurance has stopped paying for it and as such I won't be going back to group, nor to our individual therapy sessions. Between you and I, I felt the whole program was bullshit, and that the 12-Steps are for individuals without the mental capacity to simply man up, have some self-control and quit their addictions to PCP, crack or alcohol. I feel as if the IOP group meetings, and the NA/AA meetings these people attend with religious fervor are nothing more than a substitution addiction for people too weak to quit drugs on their own. You can recommend me to Rehab for "marijuana dependency", whatever the hell that is. I've been to the Mental Hospital. It's nice. Nothing you or anyone can say or do, not sending me to In-Patient Rehab, nor Jail, will change how I feel regarding the medicinal use of marijuana or the responsible use of recreational drugs. Thanks and have a nice life."
On APIS MELLIFLERA and other early-morning topics
I got stung by a honeybee yesterday in my garden; I stepped on the little guy. Well, girl - foragers are all diploid female bees. I'm not allergic but I do get sick from the sting.. fuckers injected me with poison! I don't hold it against them - bees have been helping Mankind out for 10,000 years - but goddamn if I didn't wake up sick to my stomach this morning! I vomitted this morning like I haven't vomitted in months. Not since my last shot of H or C, really.
The heat is on to find some money. I've been applying all over; this area is economically desolate. I'm entirely over-qualified for most positions I apply for - but still to no avail. It leads me to think of crazy, stupid criminal activities that can help get money together for my legal case - or, more likely, stick me with another open case. And I hate jail. But what is a guy to do??
I'm bloody brilliant. I know a little about crime; I'm nonviolent though. Not having any accomplices, and with cameras everywhere, most robberies/heists are out of the question. I'm not a bad guy - if I could live my life without money, I would. But I can't.
I need money for: my legal case, to clear up my debt at the University/Pittsburgh, to move to a Medical Marijuana State (or Nation..), and ultimately open up my own small businesses.
A cafe featuring home-baked, all natural cakes and brownies and stuff like that. Coffee and tea drinks too!Two menus - "Special" menu and "Regular" menu. I want it to be a very relaxed, bakery/pot cafe/vaporizor lounge. House plants, eclectic seating, bookshelves with classics of literature and different board games to play. No rushing of the customers; I want it to be a place where people come to pay, nominally, to hang out. And to medicate in a place where nobody has to be worried about eating or vaporizing their God-given herbal medicine.
All I'd require for entrance is one drink or treat per customer, and no criminal activities on premises! No booze. No drugs. No open sales of pot or hash.. just be sneaky and I'd probably turn a blind eye, if you offer me a joint of course ;@
My other small business idea is a Consultation/Gen.Contractor business. I and my partner could turn it into QUITE a lucrative business. Setting up, maintaining, and trouble shooting Indoor MMJ grows for Patients or their Caregivers. We would also offer clean up, tear-down, and trimming services. Again, I'd like to charge as low as I can while still turning a profit.
It's what I like to do , and what I'm good at - So why not pursue it? I just have to pursue it in an area where the penalties for growing aren't so harsh. In fact, where growing for Patients is LEGAL.
_Today I'm applying to some more jobs around my way: UPS, Rite Aid Pharmacy Tech, an Ice factory. Fun.
Also, my nefarious mind will also continue comtemplating different ways of procuring money illegally.. though that never works out well. And, as previous, I do NOT want to go back to jail. So we'll see.
Previous things that have worked (back in my addict days) were: thieving out of lockers at the gym, having my hands in the till at the bar I worked at (2-500$ a week on top of my pay, sweet), and also convincing a girl I could buy 400 Xanax 2mg for 300 dollars - I CAN do that, but I took her 300 and put it in my arm. Sucker.
None of these are really viable though. No guns, getaway drivers, accomplices.. Fuck all that illegal stuff. For now.
The heat is on to find some money. I've been applying all over; this area is economically desolate. I'm entirely over-qualified for most positions I apply for - but still to no avail. It leads me to think of crazy, stupid criminal activities that can help get money together for my legal case - or, more likely, stick me with another open case. And I hate jail. But what is a guy to do??
I'm bloody brilliant. I know a little about crime; I'm nonviolent though. Not having any accomplices, and with cameras everywhere, most robberies/heists are out of the question. I'm not a bad guy - if I could live my life without money, I would. But I can't.
I need money for: my legal case, to clear up my debt at the University/Pittsburgh, to move to a Medical Marijuana State (or Nation..), and ultimately open up my own small businesses.
A cafe featuring home-baked, all natural cakes and brownies and stuff like that. Coffee and tea drinks too!Two menus - "Special" menu and "Regular" menu. I want it to be a very relaxed, bakery/pot cafe/vaporizor lounge. House plants, eclectic seating, bookshelves with classics of literature and different board games to play. No rushing of the customers; I want it to be a place where people come to pay, nominally, to hang out. And to medicate in a place where nobody has to be worried about eating or vaporizing their God-given herbal medicine.
All I'd require for entrance is one drink or treat per customer, and no criminal activities on premises! No booze. No drugs. No open sales of pot or hash.. just be sneaky and I'd probably turn a blind eye, if you offer me a joint of course ;@
My other small business idea is a Consultation/Gen.Contractor business. I and my partner could turn it into QUITE a lucrative business. Setting up, maintaining, and trouble shooting Indoor MMJ grows for Patients or their Caregivers. We would also offer clean up, tear-down, and trimming services. Again, I'd like to charge as low as I can while still turning a profit.
It's what I like to do , and what I'm good at - So why not pursue it? I just have to pursue it in an area where the penalties for growing aren't so harsh. In fact, where growing for Patients is LEGAL.
_Today I'm applying to some more jobs around my way: UPS, Rite Aid Pharmacy Tech, an Ice factory. Fun.
Also, my nefarious mind will also continue comtemplating different ways of procuring money illegally.. though that never works out well. And, as previous, I do NOT want to go back to jail. So we'll see.
Previous things that have worked (back in my addict days) were: thieving out of lockers at the gym, having my hands in the till at the bar I worked at (2-500$ a week on top of my pay, sweet), and also convincing a girl I could buy 400 Xanax 2mg for 300 dollars - I CAN do that, but I took her 300 and put it in my arm. Sucker.
None of these are really viable though. No guns, getaway drivers, accomplices.. Fuck all that illegal stuff. For now.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
On Soma, and other topics
One of my interests and self-taught skill sets is pharmacology. The effects, dispensation, elimination and structure of different medicinal compounds. It's quite amazing how medicines work on the body. Soma is the name brand of a compound known as a Carmabamate; its chemical name is Carisoprodol. The funny thing about Soma is, it has recreational potential comparable to Valium, Quaaludes or Vicodin, but aren't Scheduled at all.
Carisoprodol metabolizes, in vivo, into Meprobamate. Meprobamate, also known as Miltown or Equanil, was very highly prescribed in the 1950s-60s. It was one of the original "Mother's Little Helpers." It is still prescribed, though very rarely. You can die from too much Soma. Not only that, but from reading the literature, and from personal experience, I can tell you that Carisoprodol potentiates Opiates upwards of sevendfold. This stuff is legal, but pot is severely illegal? Silly Government. Don't get me wrong, I do dig Soma..especially with Opiates. But it's just backwards, you know?
I desperately need money.. It's hard to not consider illegal methods of procuring it. I've thought of everything from pharmacy-robberies to synthesizing crystal meth via the reduction of ephedrine using Hydro-iodic acid and red Phosphorus. But jail truly, truly sucks. And I don't want to go back there. At the same time, I DO need money to pay a lawyer, to keep me out of there.. Kinda wish I was still growing pot. Ha.
My 7 year old cousin stays with us half the week. She's in quite a mood right now, flipping out about her hair, and her doll's. Good thing I ate 4 Soma earlier, ne?
Dinner time - home made pasta salad with home grown orange grape tomatos, baked potatoes and BocaBurgers (no meat, it's a vegetable/bulgur product).
Ciao
Carisoprodol metabolizes, in vivo, into Meprobamate. Meprobamate, also known as Miltown or Equanil, was very highly prescribed in the 1950s-60s. It was one of the original "Mother's Little Helpers." It is still prescribed, though very rarely. You can die from too much Soma. Not only that, but from reading the literature, and from personal experience, I can tell you that Carisoprodol potentiates Opiates upwards of sevendfold. This stuff is legal, but pot is severely illegal? Silly Government. Don't get me wrong, I do dig Soma..especially with Opiates. But it's just backwards, you know?
I desperately need money.. It's hard to not consider illegal methods of procuring it. I've thought of everything from pharmacy-robberies to synthesizing crystal meth via the reduction of ephedrine using Hydro-iodic acid and red Phosphorus. But jail truly, truly sucks. And I don't want to go back there. At the same time, I DO need money to pay a lawyer, to keep me out of there.. Kinda wish I was still growing pot. Ha.
My 7 year old cousin stays with us half the week. She's in quite a mood right now, flipping out about her hair, and her doll's. Good thing I ate 4 Soma earlier, ne?
Dinner time - home made pasta salad with home grown orange grape tomatos, baked potatoes and BocaBurgers (no meat, it's a vegetable/bulgur product).
Ciao
Friday, July 15, 2011
a noble beginning
I need to keep busy, and recently thought that I should join the blogSphere. I'm going to be a Blogger!
My name is A and I would like this to be an outlet for frustrations and a space where I can express my beliefs without being persecuted. For like many people before me, the Puritans, Witches and Heretics, I am a persecuted individual who only wants to live his life without interference from anyone.
My reason for needing to keep busy is because I've recently had to give up a major hobby and habit; gardening indoor cannabis also known as "marijuana" - and smoking copious amounts of it. I wasn't selling any of it; and I do use it for medicinal reasons. Depression, Anxiety. They only found 1 ounce , not even dry or smokable yet, 27 plants - 4 plants almost ready to harvest - the other 23 plants were small..
I like growing it. For ten years, since I was 15, I've been growing it, though I didn't start smoking regularly until 18 and never tried the stuff til 16.
Resulting from a petty feud I might go into later, the local police were tipped by an Informant, my sister's friend, about my grow. I feel as if they broke into my house, stole my plants and half my grow equipment and now are extorting me for money at the most (fines); giving me jail time at the worst. I live in a very ..backwards..state when it comes to cannabis legislation.
Why is there abuse and use of alcohol, but only ABUSE of certain substances? Because they're irrationally prohibited. Well, you know what, so was alcohol at one time - the Fed can be wrong; why is it so wild to think they might be wrong with pot? Everyone knows Methamphetamine and Heroin are dangerous..but pot?? Every independent studied has shown it is not only benign but also beneficial for over 40 ailments.
The state could make a lot of extra money , selling joints like cigarettes (m ost of the cost of cigs is the TAX) - they could also tax growers a certain amount per year.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane and rational one in a sea of millions.. though my family feels similarly. Being brought up in a Dry household, I learned early on the dangers of Booze. I worked at a bar during a period of my life; I saw the wacky changes it induces in people. Booze is good for little more than unprotected sex, violence, and a hangover - for most people.
I do believe in responsible use, you know. Legislation and stigma, it seems, have replaced the need for common sense, and personal responsibility.
Planning on moving soon.. I'm good at what I do, and I enjoy it. They always say, "find something you like and a way to make money doing it". If I can legally grow and sell to the Dispensaries and to patients I'd have found my calling. Or at least, my way-to-make an income calling.
A
My name is A and I would like this to be an outlet for frustrations and a space where I can express my beliefs without being persecuted. For like many people before me, the Puritans, Witches and Heretics, I am a persecuted individual who only wants to live his life without interference from anyone.
My reason for needing to keep busy is because I've recently had to give up a major hobby and habit; gardening indoor cannabis also known as "marijuana" - and smoking copious amounts of it. I wasn't selling any of it; and I do use it for medicinal reasons. Depression, Anxiety. They only found 1 ounce , not even dry or smokable yet, 27 plants - 4 plants almost ready to harvest - the other 23 plants were small..
I like growing it. For ten years, since I was 15, I've been growing it, though I didn't start smoking regularly until 18 and never tried the stuff til 16.
Resulting from a petty feud I might go into later, the local police were tipped by an Informant, my sister's friend, about my grow. I feel as if they broke into my house, stole my plants and half my grow equipment and now are extorting me for money at the most (fines); giving me jail time at the worst. I live in a very ..backwards..state when it comes to cannabis legislation.
Why is there abuse and use of alcohol, but only ABUSE of certain substances? Because they're irrationally prohibited. Well, you know what, so was alcohol at one time - the Fed can be wrong; why is it so wild to think they might be wrong with pot? Everyone knows Methamphetamine and Heroin are dangerous..but pot?? Every independent studied has shown it is not only benign but also beneficial for over 40 ailments.
The state could make a lot of extra money , selling joints like cigarettes (m ost of the cost of cigs is the TAX) - they could also tax growers a certain amount per year.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane and rational one in a sea of millions.. though my family feels similarly. Being brought up in a Dry household, I learned early on the dangers of Booze. I worked at a bar during a period of my life; I saw the wacky changes it induces in people. Booze is good for little more than unprotected sex, violence, and a hangover - for most people.
I do believe in responsible use, you know. Legislation and stigma, it seems, have replaced the need for common sense, and personal responsibility.
Planning on moving soon.. I'm good at what I do, and I enjoy it. They always say, "find something you like and a way to make money doing it". If I can legally grow and sell to the Dispensaries and to patients I'd have found my calling. Or at least, my way-to-make an income calling.
A
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